American Culture
There are so many aspects to any one culture that it is impossible to describe or to summarize in a few words what a culture is like. However, there are some characteristics of American culture that can be generally outlined, which may help you to better understand the behaviors you will observe in the United States.
US Culture
Most visitors to the United States arrive with their own ideas as to what Americans are really like. These notions derive, in large measure, from the worldwide distribution of U.S. television and films. The international student who spends a year in the United States will soon discover that the stereotypes presented in these media do not reflect the complexity of U.S. life and culture.
As an international student in the United States, you will find that an important part of your education will take place outside of the classroom. The people you meet and the friends you make will teach you more about U.S. culture than any number of sociological articles or books you might read. This section is intended to provide some "food for thought" about U.S. culture to form a starting point for your own observations.
You will, no doubt, be making comparisons between the Americans you encounter and your fellow countrymen. It is important to remember that we all wear "cultural blinders" and view another culture from the perspective of our own. For example, a visitor from Asia might find Americans permissive with respect to relationships between men and women. American couples will walk hand in hand, or embrace, in public. But a visitor from South America might feel the opposite way, finding Americans to be cold, since in his country, many people walk hand in hand-brothers and sisters, friends of the same sex, parents and children. Therefore, you should try to keep in mind that your reaction to U.S. attitudes, values and behavior will depend on those in your home country.
Making Friends
How Americans form and maintain friendships may be hard for foreign students to understand. In this mobile society, friendship can be transitory and is often established to meet personal needs in a certain situation. You may be greeted warmly by many Americans but find that a closer relationship does not necessarily follow. It is important to recognize the casual friendliness for what it is: a sign of general interest in other people and a desire to make everybody comfortable. Real friendships may or may not develop later, but they take time to build - in the U.S. as in other countries.
The casualness of friendships allows people to easily move into new social groups, groups that usually form around mutual interests, work and places of residence. Most Americans readily welcome new people into their social groups. Every campus has programs and social organizations such as fraternities; sororities; music, drama, dance and sports clubs; religious groups, etc. The tendency to form closed "cliques" is far less developed than in Europe, and families are not the protective, tightly-knit groups they sometimes are in Asia or South America.
Dating
Getting to know and making friends with Americans is a fun way to learn about American life and to improve your English if you are not a native speaker. International students usually have quite active social lives as we Americans just can't get over your great accents. However, the American dating scene may be quite different from that of your home country so here is a bit of an "insider's view" into the do's and don'ts of dating. It is accepted for both men and women to ask someone out on a date. Most dates with college students are "Dutch", which means that each person pays for his or her own expenses. If you are invited out, it is considered polite to offer to.
It is possible to date several people at one time, but just make sure that all involved parties know that you are doing it.
The dating jargon is usually pretty difficult for non-native English speakers to get used to. "Going out", "going together", "seeing each other" and "dating" all have different meanings which change depending on the situation and vocal inflection. If it sounds confusing, it is. It confuses us, too!
As a safety precaution, it is smart to meet a date at a public place for the first couple of meetings. Be sure to let your roommate or someone know where you are going, who you are seeing and when you are expected home. This is just good sense and is courteous to those who care about you.
Women in the United States may appear and indeed be more openly friendly than women in other countries. However, it is wrong to assume that a woman welcomes sexually suggestive remarks or behavior directed at her (sexual harassment) or that consent to go on a date implies consent to sexual activity. Charges of sexual harassment and sexual assault are considered serious. A man who forces a woman to engage in sexual activity when she has said or even indicated "no" can face criminal prosecution.
Tipping
There are no rules about tipping in the United States. When eating at a restaurant, most people vary the tip between 15 and 20 percent of the bill.
People you do tip include: waiters, room service personnel, taxi drivers, porters, doormen, coat-check people, barber and beauty parlor attendants.
People you do not tip include: customs officials or government employees such as policemen and firemen, mail carriers, airline staff, room clerks or other people at hotel desks, local bus drivers, store clerks, gas station attendants, theater ushers.
Drinking Alcohol
Sometimes the laws in the U.S. can seem confusing and even silly to foreigners. However, while in the U.S. you must follow all laws because you will be prosecuted by state or federal courts if you are caught breaking them. The police do not consider ignorance of the law as an excuse for breaking it.
TO DRINK ANY ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE IN NORTH CAROLINA YOU MUST BE 21 YEARS OF AGE OR OLDER. When visiting a bar, be sure to bring a passport or driver's license with a photo because you probably will be asked to show identification and prove that you are of age. A ECU student ID will not be accepted. This law may seem ridiculous to students coming from countries which do not have or enforce drinking laws because of their age. The transition can be difficult however, the penalties for drinking under age, particularly on campus, can be quite serious.
If you are 21 years or older and want to visit bars, be aware that drinking and driving is illegal and treated seriously by the police. So be careful and give yourself plenty of time to recover from the effects of alcohol before driving. It is a good idea to have a designated driver (someone who agrees not to drink) or to call a taxi if you have been drinking. If you are arrested for Driving Under the Influence (DUI), you will have to go before a judge and probably need an attorney. The police are always on alert for drunk drivers as it is a very serious offense in this country.
DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE (Be aware that it is also against the law to have open alcohol containers in a moving vehicle).
Etiquette for riding with friends
The cheapest way to get around the city is to become friends with Americans who have cars. Everybody has to go to the grocery store, so most people will probably not mind giving you a lift when they go. However, before jumping into a friend's car, there are a few little rules of which you should be aware. Even when someone has offered to take you someplace without your asking, you may still be expected to contribute to gas expenses. Most college students cannot afford to drive all over town to get you where you need to go. You should make it clear from the beginning of the trip that you are willing to contribute to these expenses. Usually a dollar or two is enough for a short trip. Or, if you are continually riding with one person, you may want to offer to fill up their tank one day. The drivers are probably not going to accept money from you for every ride, but it is always polite to make the offer.
Useful Links
If you would like more information on American culture, click on the following links. And keep in mind that the Office of International Affairs will always have an open ear for any questions you might have regarding American culture.
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